The Darkness He Is In
by FlightlessLeaf
Summary: Neither remember when it begins. They just know that they do not want it to end. Slight Mature Content.


**Hey y'all! Although I'm mainly a SakuSasu writer, I don't really like them as a couple and prefer ItaSaku way more, so I thought I'd add my two cents into the massive OTP fandom that I should really belong to And it's also my first time in second point of view, which is pretty exhilarating, as crazy as it sounds.**

**This hasn't been running in my mind for long, but I really wanted to put it down and try my dynamic with this couple and see if I can manage, since I plan a real AU for them in the future that I'm pretty excited about. **

**Title: In the Darkness He Is In**

**Couple: Itachi x Sakura**

**Genre: Angst, Romance**

**Status: One-shot/ Complete**

**Ratings: T/Bordering M possibly (I might change it later).**

* * *

You do not know when it begins. All you know is that once it began, you did not want to stop. She is a petite, soft-haired kunoichi with a fiery temper you remember her having since your first meeting. She is not a naturally talented nin, nor is she physically stronger than the rest of her team. But she is mentally capable. She is rational. She is intelligent, and goodness, she makes you feel like you've never felt before.

It begins with soft kisses and tender touches whenever you see each other. You are both on strict orders to kill an enemy on sight, but on the sight of the other, all hatred and rules and commandments are forgotten. Your relationship moves faster than it should. You tell yourself to slow down. She is young, you reason. But nothing in the world makes you want to stop.

The soft kisses evolve to meetings in the dead of the night. It evolves into you entering the walls of Konoha into her bedroom window countless times a month. The first time you make love, you know it is her first. You think she would be hesitant, but she surprises you and takes initiative. Kami, it makes you want her more, and the night is spent in feminine moans and guttural groans that fill the darkness of her room. You try to be gentle, and she is appreciative, but your self-control spirals out of control as soon as she says she is okay. In your mind, you tell her she is the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Some nights, she meets you outside of Konoha village, somewhere quiet and safe, where your passionate cries cannot be heard by anybody. You know you should stop. You know you should tell her you need to stop. But you do not want to. So you do not.

(Deep down, you knew you are sinking into a greater darkness that is inescapable.)

* * *

She moans your name into your ear, and it makes your blood hum in your ears, makes you lose your mind and move faster until both of you come within moments. Your pants and laboured breathings are all you can hear, and when you lie down next to her, pull her close into your chest and hold her tight, you think you could spend the rest of your damned life in this position with her.

Some mornings when you don't leave, you kiss her nose to wake her up.

'Good morning,' she says with a smile as she groggily opens her eyes and buries her face in the crook of your neck.

It is moments like these you think you can escape the darkness in your heart, one that threatens to consume your entire being and rid you of any feeling you treasure. But the moment you leave the bed and put on your clothing, you can feel the sorrow catch up with you once more. You know you should not drag her down with you, just leave her be in Konoha where she will live her life with those she holds dear. But you do not want to. You cannot.

(You are just selfish, you think.)

* * *

Sasuke is getting stronger, and you know the time is coming. The final battle that will finally end your pathetic, unfair life and you wait with anticipation. But she is always in your mind, unconsciously telling you to stop and turn back before it was too late. You do not want her to mourn, to feel the emptiness of your presence in her life, because you know you have completed each other in a way that such things were inevitable.

It is finally when you summon the courage to let her go do you tell her so.

She is an emotional person, but in that moment in her room when you first break it to her that this meeting will be your last, she gives no verbal response. Only her eyes harden, watering slowly, and her hands shake. But she does not ask why. She only steps forward, puts her arms around your neck and murmurs against your lips, 'then make this worth it.'

You waste no time to mould your lips with hers, wrapping your own arms around her back to bring her closer to you, and walk her backwards to the bed. You don't realize you are trembling like she is until both of you are bare, but there is no going back now. So you make love to her for the last time, passionately, roughly, memorising her every curve and feeling so you do not forget even at your last breath.

Hours later when it is near sunrise, you do not wake her up before you leave. Instead, you pull on your clothes and give her a last look. She is curled on her side, her hair a mess and her mouth slightly open. Her chest rises and falls with her breathing, and she has never looked so beautifully alive before. You savour the sight before disappearing through the window, and out of her life. You hope that when she wakes up, she does not cry for you.

(Deep down, you know she will).

* * *

Without her, you feel empty. The darkness and everything empty takes over your core and you trudge through two years, hoping to see her one more time before Sasuke finally takes your life. You are sick, vision slowly beginning to blur, and it is makes you claustrophobic to know that darkness will not just ruin you emotionally and mentally, but physically as well.

You pray that you are dead before then, but there is a nagging regret deep within that wishes you did not leave Sakura that night. You should have spent your last moments with her. But you left her so she did not feel your pain, your suffering. Your act was selfless, you try to tell yourself. It is your only consolation as you go through the motions of being a traitor, an Uchiha, a rogue.

599786543527485

The battle with Sasuke has finally ended. You are dying. You can feel the blood loss, and you can see the emotions in your little brother's eyes as he cries pathetically. Your vision is finally gone, and you close your eyes to join the twilight of death.

_Finally, _is your last thought.

_Finally_

* * *

You awaken to pitch black. Your entire body is numb and stiff, and it occurs to you it must be the path to hell. But hell is not sympathetic and warm. It is relentless and boiling hot. So it finally sinks in you are not dead. A part of you mourns at the fact, but much of you has died when Sasuke killed it. It is now only your body, a hollow vessel for a broken soul. You attempt to open your eyes, but they are already open, and the need to claw them out and scream in anger is dangerously tempting.

But it all fades away when you feel a hand on your arm. You almost jerk it off, but the touch is so familiar, the breath is caught in your throat.

'Itachi,' a soft sound said.

_Sakura_

'Itachi, please do not panic. You've lost your sight, and you are safe right now.'

You open your mouth to try speaking. Instead, you croak, 'where am I?'

'You are in a hut somewhere hidden. Tsunade-sama has secured your safety, and you are under hers and my protection. Do you understand?' Her voice was strained, distressed, and you wonder if it was you who did that to her.

(You know it was).

You feel your hands begin to shake, your lips begin to quiver, and you cannot stop the wretched sob that racks through your body. You are alive, and safe. You do not want to be either. So you weep horribly, your own crying sounding like a stranger's to your ears.

Sakura shifts in the darkness, her arms wrapping around you in consolation. The gesture makes you want to weep harder, and Sakura does not say a word as the revelation of your future hits you like bolt of lightning.

Hopeless

Useless

Broken

Darkness

_Darkness_

_Darkness_

* * *

She looks after you, as promised. She is by you for months, and you slowly become familiar with your surroundings. The hut is small, with only a bed, a tiny kitchen and a low table with a fireplace in the corner. She is with you every day, leaving only at night after she makes you a meal and tends to your wounds. In the mornings, you awaken to the smell of her cooking that you hesitantly eat. You say very little, and so does she. You are both afraid to break the silence, pass a boundary of no return.

Your injuries heal slowly, but nicely, and your body is still stiff, missing the training you used to do to keep healthy and fit. Sakura says that you will have little scars, but you are afraid to ask if one particular scar will ever fade. You are afraid of what she will say if you ask whether your sight will ever return. She knows you want to know, but waits for you to say so. But if you are anything, you are stubborn.

'Why am I under the Hokage's protection?' You question one day while she cooks dinner. 'I am a traitor to Konoha.'

She does not stop her actions; the sound of a knife hitting a cutting board, the sound of her shuffling feet is very clear. She answers very calmly, 'We know the truth behind the massacre.'

You freeze, the response catching you off guard.

'We found out about Danzo. Tsunade-sama has excused all the crimes you've committed against Konoha. You are no longer a traitorous missing nin.' She says the last part carefully, and you act oblivious to the meaning of her words. For the rest of the day, you are quiet.

As the weeks wear on, despite your blindness, you continue to yearn for her touch. You want to feel her lips, the curve of her hips, to taste the skin of her neck, her collarbone. The years without her make you realize just how much you have missed her, but you do not touch her. You are a coward, and if you have not betrayed Konoha, you have betrayed her. Nor does she make the move to touch you more than refreshing your bandages, checking on your health. You want her to take initiative again, like the first time you made love, but you are expecting too much. You are selfish as much as you are selfless.

You hate yourself for it, and you find yourself falling further into the darkness that loomed over you for years. The black you are met by every morning, you sleep to every night, can only worsen your suffocation. Some days, you step out of the hut for hours to breathe in the fresh air to understand that you are not confined by four walls, but by the blackness that will follow you to your grave, however long it may take.

And the more you fall, the more you know it affects her. Because you are still to her what you were three years ago, and it hurts you, pains you to know that she still suffers even after all you sacrificed to make sure she doesn't.

* * *

Your injuries have since healed, and you feel your health return completely. But it does not stop Sakura from coming to cook for you every day. You can look after yourself now, and if you ask, she can teach you to cook as well. You know she does not need to be here anymore because her visiting times are less. She does not spend her days with you, instead making you breakfast before you awaken, and coming to only make dinner before leaving quickly. She has other responsibilities, but she refuses to stop helping. It sickens you to know that she still stays by you after all you have put her through.

'You have to stop,' you tell her one day as she hustles about the kitchen.

She does stop indeed, and you can feel her eyes piercing into you as you sit on your bed, legs thrown over the side and your eyes closed to rest them.

'Pardon?'

'You have to stop,' you said again calmly. 'Stop finding reasons to come back here.'

There is a silence for a moment before you hear her come nearer and kneel before you, her hands achingly close to your knees.

'I keep doing this,' you say, teeth clenching. 'No matter how much I try, I'm always going back to the darkness. It is always consuming me, no matter how much I try to stop it.'

Your eyes begin to sting in frustration, but you do not open them. 'I'm always going back. I'm always falling back down, Sakura, and I do not want to do that to you anymore. I...,' you swallow hard, 'I don't have anything to give you, just sadness and sorrow. I don't want to see you like this anymore. So stop finding excuses to come back here. Don't do this to yourself. To me.'

You finally open your eyes and you cannot see, but you can imagine the tears she is crying, the twisted pain on her face as she hopelessly stares at you.

Her hands finally fall on your knees like you almost expected (like you desperately hoped) and it is the most intimate action either of you have done for months. 'It...' her voice is trembling, her emotions finally breaking through, and your insides quake with remorse. 'It doesn't matter how many times you fall. I will,' She sniffed, her grip on your knees tightening. 'I will always help you back up'

You sense her raise herself, her face nearing dangerously close to yours. You feel her shaky breath fan your face and it is all you can do to hold yourself back from holding hers between your hands.

'I love you, Itachi,' she sobs, 'I don't need another reason to be by your side.'

The confession reaches the very depths of your heart, and the darkness within is suddenly brightened by a dim light.

Sakura cries helplessly, and you finally find the courage to wrap your arms around her shoulders to bring her to you. You breathe in the scent of her hair and let out a sigh of what, you do not know. All you know is you feel relieved and light and strangely content. Your eyes are still stinging, but you will not let the tears to fall down.

When Sakura is finally calm, you kiss her softly, tentatively, and she returns without hesitance. The taste of her lips is something you miss desperately, the feel of her in your arms familiar and fresh, like she never left.

When you pull back, you press your foreheads together. 'I am happy.' You whisper.

It is the closest you can come to telling her you love her, and your finger on her cheeks tell you she is smiling so painfully she begins to weep all over again, and you gladly accept her burden after making her carry yours all these years.

* * *

A week later, you ask her a question you want to desperately know the answer to. Something you've wanted to ask from the moment you knew you loved her all those years ago. You are sitting on the floor before the low table, eating quietly when you finally do so.

'Why don't we leave?'

The utensils Sakura is using stops moving. 'To where?'

'Anywhere. Everywhere. Wherever we want.'

You know she is not smiling, and you begin to wonder if it was better off not to have asked She does not answer and leaves later without a word. You will not admit it to her or anybody, but it makes your heart sting and feel heavy. You know that if she would ask you to leave, you would obey without resistance. But knowing she did not, reminds you that she has responsibilities and bonds. She has a home, friends and colleagues. She has a _life_, whereas you simply spend your days in and just outside of your little hut, eagerly awaiting her return every evening.

(You are selfish, you think).

* * *

When she returns the next day, you are beyond surprised when she throws herself at you, making you stumble. She plants a kiss on your lip and hugs you, arms tightly around your torso. You return it, confused.

'I talked to Tsunade.' She said airily, sounding playful.

You do not reply, waiting for her to continue.

'I've resigned my job as a kunoichi. And I've said goodbye to everyone in Konoha I know.'

It is startling news, and you are frozen in place, unable to respond.

'So,' she loosens her arms around you and leans her chin against your chest, seemingly looking up at your face. 'Where should we go first?'

It takes a moment to sink in completely, and when it does, you can only press your lips against hers once more and pull her towards the bed.

'I love you,' Sakura murmurs as you rustle with each other's clothing. You kiss her harder, trying to convey all your feelings to her, desperately begging her to understand just how happy she made you.

The darkness would never leave, you know it won't. You would continue to fall. But from now on, it did not matter why or how. If she was by your side, you knew you could stand up again. And again. And again.

Later, as you lay in each other's arms, you decide to first start by travelling the Fire country as much as you can.

(Deep down, you know you will travel it from beginning to end).

* * *

_**So, how was it? First go at this couple, and I'm pretty happy with this **_

_**Let me know what you think,**_

_**Kudos**_


End file.
